Code of Conduct

We want everyone to have a fantastic time and in order for this to happen we ask that you show the same respect to the evening as you would when attending the cinema or theatre.

With this in mind please consider the following:

NO HECKLING ACTS! However MC is fair game
Arrive on time – get there in plenty of time and enjoy a drink or two before the show starts
Seating is on a ‘FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED’ basis at some venues so get there early to choose where you want to sit (worth paying particular attention if you are in a large group who all want to sit together)
Late comers will be asked to wait until the break and may have to stand for the duration of the show – No Refunds
No Stag or Hen Parties (won’t be admitted – No Refunds)
No Large Groups of drunks (won’t be admitted – No Refunds)
No talking while the acts are performing (there are breaks during the night when you can get a drink, go to the toilet and chat with your friends)
Switch off mobile phones
No flash photography while acts are on stage
No recording of acts performances
You are expected to treat the door staff with respect...one of them is 63 (updated each August)!..she's my mam and is very affordable (free)...she's the best door staff available in her price range, they have a difficult job trying to get everyone in on time, please make an orderly queue and accept the ink stamp on your hand as proof of entry without a fuss.
Reselling of event tickets for profit will not be tolerated, any tickets sold for profit on sites like eBay will be invalid and will not permit entry - No Refund
Line-ups are subject to change occasionally due to circumstances beyond our control, any line-up changes will be announced immediately through facebook, twitter and this website wherever possible, we will always endeavour to ensure any replacement act is of similar stature.
No amateur interior designers, feng shui experts or budding employees of Pickfords re-arranging furniture. If you can't find suitable seating please ask a member of staff rather than taking it upon yourself to change layout of room.
Eating of CRISPS, NUTS, LEGUMES (this classification includes Peanuts for the pedants or thickies amongst you), PRETZELS, PORK SCRATCHINGS, SCAMPI FRIES or anything else that might make an annoying noise during performances WILL NOT BE TOLERATED - your items will be confiscated (during the breaks banned items will be tolerated but only if sucked silently until they are fully ingested) - If you are found eating tomato ketchup flavour crisps at anytime during the night you will be asked to leave
NO HOT DRINKS! Drinking Tea, Coffee, Hot Chocolate, Horlicks, Ovaltine, Cocoa, Herbal Infusions or similar does not engender the sort of atmosphere we are looking to create, it's a comedy club not Betty's Tea Rooms for Christ's sake. Also it's a Health & Safety Hazard as if I find someone breaking this rule they will likely be scolded and most probably scalded too as I empty the contents of the offending vessel.
Any MC / Compere found to be re-enacting Michael Jackson type dance moves will have their fee withheld indefinitely...if you could report any instances of this nature by texting the date and venue of the offending gig to 07525 163 717 then the appropriate action will be taken.
Pulling / Scoring / Bedding / Copping off with the acts is not encouraged...I'm telling you this as I want you to return to the gigs without any embarrassment caused by any previous 'adventures'. Avoiding such 'escapades' will prevent a lovely but overly tipsy audience member from the following morning's walk of shame to the nearest Metro Station accompanied only by a huge dollop of regret and a feeling of emptiness (the walk will be alone as the offending act will want a lie-in as they work nights).

I know we sound a bit like one of your old school teachers now but it’s for the benefit of the majority as a culmination of small things can greatly impair the success of an evening and we want everyone to have an amazing time.

"Line-ups can be subject to change"

Line-ups are subject to change occasionally due to circumstances beyond our control, any line-up changes will be announced immediately through facebook, twitter and this website wherever possible, we will always endeavour to ensure any replacement act is of similar stature.

Click on the links in the navigation bar to join us on facebook / twitter and keep up to date with any changes.

If there are a few of you who want to sit together then get to the venue early rather than arrive late as all seating choice is on a first come first served basis.

Hope all this sounds reasonable enough and not too Draconian as we just want to create the perfect environment for the acts to succeed which in turn will make it a great night for the audience.

Any comments or questions please feel free to contact us at info@thegrinningidiot.com

or 07525 163 717

See below for an explanation of our thinking.

Heckling / Talking / Mobile Phones / Going to Toilet / Going to the Bar while the acts are performing can disrupt the show to the annoyance of other audience members so we ask that you wait until the intervals (which are approx every 30 mins).

Seating is on a first come first served basis so that audience members who get there early get to choose where they want to sit and hopefully this will stop any disagreements over reservations.

Arriving late disrupts the show and can delay the start which isn’t fair on the audience members that manage to get there on time. Starting late also has the knock on effect of disrupting the end of the show too as people will then need to leave prior to the finale to make it on time for their Taxis / Babysitters etc.

We don’t admit Stags / Hens / Large groups as they can significantly affect the dynamic of an evening as the comedy is secondary to a night of getting drunk. It’s not that acts can’t deal with them it’s that they shouldn’t have to and don’t want to. We are bringing the best acts in the country to the gig and they are coming to perform their best material to the vast majority of the audience who want to listen, they are not coming to make fun of one person to the delight of his / her small band of friends but to the exclusion of the other 220 people in the room. Large groups can also intimidate others and are more likely to be the source of friction which is something we want to avoid at all costs – we’d rather have 10 empty seats than 10 people misbehaving.

We know how to set up a room to make sure the night works well and we set it up before the audience arrives in the best fashion for the anticipated audience size, this means people taking up empty seats first before additional chairs are brought out as the more gaps there are in the audience the less well comedy works. There will be sufficient seats for everyone and if all the seats are taken that are set out then the staff will be happy to get more if you ask them. Do not take it upon your self to start re-arranging the furniture as it could impair the success of the gig / cause problems with fire exits / access to bar / annoy other members of audience.